5.29 pm
Still lying on the floor and waiting for berbuka.
Simple as that, today mom decide to eat something delicious yet easy to cook. Our recipe,
" Chicken wings marinated with nasi ayam".
Not going to any bazar ramadhan to buy side foods cause we already shop groceries at Giant for 3 hours.Yeah 3 hours.
What can i say this year fasting month it's not like the old days anymore. Since it's not the end of the year. I don't feel any exciting anymore. Totally like another plain boring day except everyone got a one day leave to celebrate first puasa with their families. That's all.
I'm still new in penang. I miss everything. My hometown, The surrounding. the people. the smells. Every little piece of me is still left there. This busy city makes me sick, their attitude on the road. Geez my mouth can't stop swearing every single time. Trying to cool down and i just remember today is puasa. Hihi.
I hope i can get through until the end of the month. I'm planning to quit my job. Pretty tired with the situation. How can i work when my heart and soul not even there anymore. It's like a puppet doing a show by itself. So i already apply a new one and hoping this one would be my rezqi.
If it ever to happen, it will happen cause it's all in Allah hands.
So, Happy Ramadhan to all muslims. people that i known and i used to know. Forgive my harsh words cause i never mean it. I'm a normal people that cannot run from doing any mistakes.
Less talk, start to do more good deeds.
6.42 pm.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Saturday, April 14, 2012
tik tok.
Aku berdoa,
Tuhan dengar permintaanku, lantas ia berikan.
tapi disebalik itu,
dia uji aku.
aku harus hadapi dengan tabah.
Jadi kuat, dan jangan pernah putus asa.
kalau ini bukan rezeki aku,
mungkin tuhan sediakan yang lebih baik untuk aku.
Ya, teruskan dengan fikiran positif kau.
Ia pasti akan baik-baik aja.
cuba senyum.
redha.
tawakal.
sedikit usaha.
dan beberapa cebis harapan.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
cuba sedapkan hati.
.
.
.
.
.
tapi gagal.
Tuhan dengar permintaanku, lantas ia berikan.
tapi disebalik itu,
dia uji aku.
aku harus hadapi dengan tabah.
Jadi kuat, dan jangan pernah putus asa.
kalau ini bukan rezeki aku,
mungkin tuhan sediakan yang lebih baik untuk aku.
Ya, teruskan dengan fikiran positif kau.
Ia pasti akan baik-baik aja.
cuba senyum.
redha.
tawakal.
sedikit usaha.
dan beberapa cebis harapan.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
cuba sedapkan hati.
.
.
.
.
.
tapi gagal.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
aku
Gua. Nak menaip perlu datang mood. macam diminta seru.
I guess i'm not just like anybody who can type for five minutes and click the publish post button. Done.
sedar tak sedar, dah masuk bulan tiga.
aku sentiasa aku yang lama dan mungkinlah berubah sedikit.
aku pernah cakap, kepada seseorang.
even aku tak menulis dalam blog ini pun, bukan bermakna aku lupa.
aku masih boleh ingat segala kejadian walaupun untuk 10 tahun lepas.
mungkin ada lupa sikit, tapi sebahagian besarnya masih segar.
I don't need words on screen, cause i'm always keep in mind like a record, put in a memory box so its stays there safely for forever.
The difference between us. Its good. kalau sentiasa sama sahaja tiadalah ceria dalam hidup. lama-kelamaan mesti mati kebosanan juga kerna tiada kelainan. sama macam hari-hari makan benda yang sama muak juga akhirnya.
Aku mungkin dah tak sunyi lagi.
sunyi dalam kosa kata aku ni bukannya untuk forever alone. sebab aku ada mak, masih ada tempat untuk bertahan. dia yang terbaik pernah aku alami dalam hidup ini. Definisi sunyi disini ialah bilamana kawan untuk berbual hal semasa. dengan mak aku berbual hal peribadi. kiranya kawan-kawan mainkan peranan penting jugak dalam hidup. tapi bukanlah bila tiada kawan, aku mati. a big No.
Terharu,
masih ada yang sanggup menanti.
masih ada yang mencari.
masih bertambah orang baru dalam hidup.
masih ada yang kata rindu.
aku bersyukur masih ada orang yang sentiasa ingat pada aku.
Terima kasih. aku hargai.
aku boleh balas semuanya. cuma aku jenis slow motion. macam dalam sains juga,
hipotesisnya, semakin slow motion pergerakan itu, semakin awesomelah hasilnya.
tunggulah selagi engkau mampu,
menunggu itu mungkin perit,
tapi mana tahu ia membuahkan hasil yang lumayan suatu hari nanti.
I guess i'm not just like anybody who can type for five minutes and click the publish post button. Done.
sedar tak sedar, dah masuk bulan tiga.
aku sentiasa aku yang lama dan mungkinlah berubah sedikit.
aku pernah cakap, kepada seseorang.
even aku tak menulis dalam blog ini pun, bukan bermakna aku lupa.
aku masih boleh ingat segala kejadian walaupun untuk 10 tahun lepas.
mungkin ada lupa sikit, tapi sebahagian besarnya masih segar.
I don't need words on screen, cause i'm always keep in mind like a record, put in a memory box so its stays there safely for forever.
The difference between us. Its good. kalau sentiasa sama sahaja tiadalah ceria dalam hidup. lama-kelamaan mesti mati kebosanan juga kerna tiada kelainan. sama macam hari-hari makan benda yang sama muak juga akhirnya.
Aku mungkin dah tak sunyi lagi.
sunyi dalam kosa kata aku ni bukannya untuk forever alone. sebab aku ada mak, masih ada tempat untuk bertahan. dia yang terbaik pernah aku alami dalam hidup ini. Definisi sunyi disini ialah bilamana kawan untuk berbual hal semasa. dengan mak aku berbual hal peribadi. kiranya kawan-kawan mainkan peranan penting jugak dalam hidup. tapi bukanlah bila tiada kawan, aku mati. a big No.
Terharu,
masih ada yang sanggup menanti.
masih ada yang mencari.
masih bertambah orang baru dalam hidup.
masih ada yang kata rindu.
aku bersyukur masih ada orang yang sentiasa ingat pada aku.
Terima kasih. aku hargai.
aku boleh balas semuanya. cuma aku jenis slow motion. macam dalam sains juga,
hipotesisnya, semakin slow motion pergerakan itu, semakin awesomelah hasilnya.
tunggulah selagi engkau mampu,
menunggu itu mungkin perit,
tapi mana tahu ia membuahkan hasil yang lumayan suatu hari nanti.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Expectations
When The Smiths songs keep playing in 500 days of Summer it lighten up my life.
Life is full with surprises.
Engkau tak jangka apa yang akan jadi harini dan bagaimana pula esok. aku cuma harap hari yang mendatang dalam hidup aku hanya penuh dengan kebahgiaan. Malah, aku nak mula ketepikan rasa kesunyian yang selama ini dah terperangkap dalam diri. Aku dah bosan.
Tapi aku masih buntu.
dan masih mencari.
Aku hanya nak senyum selepas ini walaupun aku rasa terluka atau pahit kelak. aku cuma takkan berhenti senyum. aku dah biasa tempuh pahit dalam hidup. ala takat fake smile is my thing. its so me. kau boleh cakap aku hipokrit, i don't care. sebab sometimes i am.
cuma beza nya bila orang buat kita tersengih depan laptop dengan baca every word yang dorang tulis,
engkau tahu orang itu berbeza dan telah gembirakan kau dalam cara halus.
The thing is,
Aku cuma nak elakkan jadi macam Summer, but at the end i'm still have the same thoughts just like Summer. Bukan dari sekarang, tapi dari dulu lagi. Aku cuma rasa it won't work. Maybe that's why every relationship i never take it serious. because i never really worked for it.
I don't fall easily- zee
The best way to love something is to realize you may lose it.- I never done this.
Until one day. one RT from twitter is changing my life. Dari pergaduhan ( more to bahan membahan ) it turn out to be you know what i mean.
kenal baru semalam, tapi gaduh macam dah kenal 3 tahun.
After five days i back from Kolumpo. I got this. I just wanna tell you i do expect that you gonna say that. and i do thinking about you for five days that we don't contact each other. But i never thought this kind of situation.
Pagi itu,
Log in twitter,
checking inbox : Guess what?! I'm glad you back, I miss you.
I knew it sound serious when the words its not contain ha-ha.
Life is full with surprises.
Engkau tak jangka apa yang akan jadi harini dan bagaimana pula esok. aku cuma harap hari yang mendatang dalam hidup aku hanya penuh dengan kebahgiaan. Malah, aku nak mula ketepikan rasa kesunyian yang selama ini dah terperangkap dalam diri. Aku dah bosan.
Tapi aku masih buntu.
dan masih mencari.
Aku hanya nak senyum selepas ini walaupun aku rasa terluka atau pahit kelak. aku cuma takkan berhenti senyum. aku dah biasa tempuh pahit dalam hidup. ala takat fake smile is my thing. its so me. kau boleh cakap aku hipokrit, i don't care. sebab sometimes i am.
cuma beza nya bila orang buat kita tersengih depan laptop dengan baca every word yang dorang tulis,
engkau tahu orang itu berbeza dan telah gembirakan kau dalam cara halus.
The thing is,
Aku cuma nak elakkan jadi macam Summer, but at the end i'm still have the same thoughts just like Summer. Bukan dari sekarang, tapi dari dulu lagi. Aku cuma rasa it won't work. Maybe that's why every relationship i never take it serious. because i never really worked for it.
I don't fall easily- zee
The best way to love something is to realize you may lose it.- I never done this.
Until one day. one RT from twitter is changing my life. Dari pergaduhan ( more to bahan membahan ) it turn out to be you know what i mean.
kenal baru semalam, tapi gaduh macam dah kenal 3 tahun.
After five days i back from Kolumpo. I got this. I just wanna tell you i do expect that you gonna say that. and i do thinking about you for five days that we don't contact each other. But i never thought this kind of situation.
Pagi itu,
Log in twitter,
checking inbox : Guess what?! I'm glad you back, I miss you.
I knew it sound serious when the words its not contain ha-ha.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Hey baby !
I'm gonna change this whole blog.
And can one of you that ever read my blog tell me how to change the blogspot to wordpress?
Do i need to make a new one?
Do i ? do i ?
And as you can see the header is already crooks.
Shit i've been strugling to create the friggin damn header using paint. Hehe. Yeah i know its lame. I don't even know how to used photoshop. Actually, i am too lazy to check all over the web that teach every tutorial. Its too complicated.
Its like i better jump from the top of building instead of using stairs to going down.
I missed blogging. I just ran out of idea.
I'll be going to kolumpo for 6 days. and i will updating more even i know no ones ever care.
And i love all my readers ( Like i have one )
Okbai. xoxo :D
And can one of you that ever read my blog tell me how to change the blogspot to wordpress?
Do i need to make a new one?
Do i ? do i ?
And as you can see the header is already crooks.
Shit i've been strugling to create the friggin damn header using paint. Hehe. Yeah i know its lame. I don't even know how to used photoshop. Actually, i am too lazy to check all over the web that teach every tutorial. Its too complicated.
Its like i better jump from the top of building instead of using stairs to going down.
I missed blogging. I just ran out of idea.
I'll be going to kolumpo for 6 days. and i will updating more even i know no ones ever care.
And i love all my readers ( Like i have one )
Okbai. xoxo :D
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Bolos saja dinding itu
Hapdet laju.
Hari ahad lepas boleh kata hari yang paling buat gua bengang lagi bangang. Mak mulakan sesi memasak di dapur belakang sambil anak aku tergantung di siling atas. baik punya port dah macam burung pulak mak tengok. Aku boleh nampak haritu mereka gembira semacam. terkinja melompat berlari di dalam roda tanpa henti. Sekejap-sekejap aku lihat mereka tertidur sambil memegang koci. girang hati ku melihat mereka berdua. lalu bermonolog dalam hati.
"dah besar dah anak mak berdua ni, comel chubby pulak tu. boleh buat jual dapat harga tinggi "
Bau asap masakan berkepuk-kepuk pun dah sedap belum lagi gua rasa isi dalam kuali. Mahu gua balun satu periuk nasik nanti. pertama kali mak masak rendang itik. rasa jangan cakap..belum kunyah dah lesap dalam saluran trakea. mak buat sedikit pulut kuning untuk disedekahkan kepada orang kampung sempena akak dapat kerja. Syukur alhamdulilah akak akan bertugas di pusat perubatan malaya nanti. aku tak biasa panggil akak, aku rasa ia sangat janggal. aku dua beradik jadi rasa lebih rapat kalau panggil nama.
Jam duabelas makan masih tak hingat dunia. boleh kata setiap saat mulut takkan berhenti menguyah walaupun tengah bercakap. penangan masakan mak. seperti dijangka aku agak rajin. buat kerja macam isteri orang dirumah. keluar dibelakang untuk mengangkat jemuran yang hampir rentung dek panas yang memancor. Tak pernah aku rasa lain selama ini.
rasa sadis dan marah bercampur baur .
"kenapalah aku tak perasan ?! "
Belum sempat buat autopsi, tak sempat jugak nak ambil bahan bukti dan rasa tak sanggup lagi nak memandang ke wajah dua kesayangan keras kaku tak berdarah.
Riak wajah sambil terbuka sebelah mata terkangkang ditepi sambil urin terkeluar sedikit. efek dari gas wap asap dapur agaknya. satu lagi tersembam cantik sambil mata tertutup rapat seperti tidur yang lena. mati dalam iman takpelah jugak. percaya tak percaya juga penat lelah aku membesarkan mecari suapan koci untuk mereka.
Terdetik dihati..jilaka. nampaknya harapan tinggal harapan. impian yang aku pasang setinggi langit jatuh menimpa kedepek ke muka. Sakit sekali, sangat. Keras juga hati aku kali ini. tak sangka aku masih boleh tahan rasa sedih tanpa menitiskan sedikit pun air mata. mungkin sebab niat tak baik, jadi Allah tarik nyawa mereka cepat supaya aku tak jadi mak yang kejam.
Kes telah ditutup. keputusan telah dicapai aku sebagai bidan terjun mendapati beliau-beliau mati disebabkan keadaan yang terlalu panas, sesak nafas barangkali mungkin. oksigen tak berjalan dengan lancar. dan kedudukan zink terlalu dekat dan itulah tanda yang mereka berdua asyik menggerit rumah besi sebab tak tahan sangat. paling kelakar selama ini aku sangka mereka nak tumbuh gigi. punah sangkaan itu.
Terima dengan redha. kedua-dua kesayangan telah selamat bersemadi pada ahad lepas. muka penuh sinar dan cahaya dan mak tahu korang berdua masuk syurga. okbai mak dah rasa nak menjejeh air hingus ni. *lap dekat baju.
R.I.P Deb and Bun. hari pertama bawak balik anak kecik. gambar kematian tidak dapat diambil disebab musabab menyebabkan kesedihan ahli keluarga. Busuk betul mak letak kau dekat dengan kasut.
"mungkin mak tak beri yang secukupnya , tapi mak sayang korang dua ".
manis tak mak ?
Terima kasih buat yang melawat dan menanti entri. aku benci menaip dengan emosi. bye ._.
Hari ahad lepas boleh kata hari yang paling buat gua bengang lagi bangang. Mak mulakan sesi memasak di dapur belakang sambil anak aku tergantung di siling atas. baik punya port dah macam burung pulak mak tengok. Aku boleh nampak haritu mereka gembira semacam. terkinja melompat berlari di dalam roda tanpa henti. Sekejap-sekejap aku lihat mereka tertidur sambil memegang koci. girang hati ku melihat mereka berdua. lalu bermonolog dalam hati.
"dah besar dah anak mak berdua ni, comel chubby pulak tu. boleh buat jual dapat harga tinggi "
Bau asap masakan berkepuk-kepuk pun dah sedap belum lagi gua rasa isi dalam kuali. Mahu gua balun satu periuk nasik nanti. pertama kali mak masak rendang itik. rasa jangan cakap..belum kunyah dah lesap dalam saluran trakea. mak buat sedikit pulut kuning untuk disedekahkan kepada orang kampung sempena akak dapat kerja. Syukur alhamdulilah akak akan bertugas di pusat perubatan malaya nanti. aku tak biasa panggil akak, aku rasa ia sangat janggal. aku dua beradik jadi rasa lebih rapat kalau panggil nama.
Jam duabelas makan masih tak hingat dunia. boleh kata setiap saat mulut takkan berhenti menguyah walaupun tengah bercakap. penangan masakan mak. seperti dijangka aku agak rajin. buat kerja macam isteri orang dirumah. keluar dibelakang untuk mengangkat jemuran yang hampir rentung dek panas yang memancor. Tak pernah aku rasa lain selama ini.
rasa sadis dan marah bercampur baur .
"kenapalah aku tak perasan ?! "
Belum sempat buat autopsi, tak sempat jugak nak ambil bahan bukti dan rasa tak sanggup lagi nak memandang ke wajah dua kesayangan keras kaku tak berdarah.
Riak wajah sambil terbuka sebelah mata terkangkang ditepi sambil urin terkeluar sedikit. efek dari gas wap asap dapur agaknya. satu lagi tersembam cantik sambil mata tertutup rapat seperti tidur yang lena. mati dalam iman takpelah jugak. percaya tak percaya juga penat lelah aku membesarkan mecari suapan koci untuk mereka.
Terdetik dihati..jilaka. nampaknya harapan tinggal harapan. impian yang aku pasang setinggi langit jatuh menimpa kedepek ke muka. Sakit sekali, sangat. Keras juga hati aku kali ini. tak sangka aku masih boleh tahan rasa sedih tanpa menitiskan sedikit pun air mata. mungkin sebab niat tak baik, jadi Allah tarik nyawa mereka cepat supaya aku tak jadi mak yang kejam.
Kes telah ditutup. keputusan telah dicapai aku sebagai bidan terjun mendapati beliau-beliau mati disebabkan keadaan yang terlalu panas, sesak nafas barangkali mungkin. oksigen tak berjalan dengan lancar. dan kedudukan zink terlalu dekat dan itulah tanda yang mereka berdua asyik menggerit rumah besi sebab tak tahan sangat. paling kelakar selama ini aku sangka mereka nak tumbuh gigi. punah sangkaan itu.
Terima dengan redha. kedua-dua kesayangan telah selamat bersemadi pada ahad lepas. muka penuh sinar dan cahaya dan mak tahu korang berdua masuk syurga. okbai mak dah rasa nak menjejeh air hingus ni. *lap dekat baju.
R.I.P Deb and Bun. hari pertama bawak balik anak kecik. gambar kematian tidak dapat diambil disebab musabab menyebabkan kesedihan ahli keluarga. Busuk betul mak letak kau dekat dengan kasut.
"mungkin mak tak beri yang secukupnya , tapi mak sayang korang dua ".
manis tak mak ?
Terima kasih buat yang melawat dan menanti entri. aku benci menaip dengan emosi. bye ._.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
There is sometimes.
Such a rainy seasons these days. Cold and you can feel the lazyness cause its great to lay on bed right now. I'm tired. Yeah, maybe tired with everyone?
Suddenly, this emotional feelings spreading without uncontrolly when you get fight with your mom and your big sister because of small things. Small issue can turn up to be a big issues. I can feel that. Right now. This evil thinking mind try to manipulate and create this hatred feeling. Oh, i hate this . But, I am so relief that i can express all out what i feel inside. Try to turn on a sad song and you feel like crying. Dumb.
There is sometimes, i've been thinking that i'm always the black sheep. the bad one and nothing good come from me. Sigh. Maybe its true. I think mom love big sister than me. Cause she's the perfect one. Heard everything what mom saying while i'm always cut her words off everytime she try to give an advice to me. But hey, i won't defend myself if i'm wrong. But still mom says, You need to accept that you're wrong. That's why people tegur you to be better. Ok, my bad. but it will take time to confess your own fault. Yupp.
There is always this time that i feel lonely , alone , sepi, sunyi , keseorangan , rasa terpinggir , tersisih , lonely again , fell into the darkness like woooo..But dumb again. The cycle is never ends. It just me that always thinking negatively and start to crying without reason and laughing back, and you remembered something sad and you starting to crying again . Totally this is shit. I think i'm goin to be nuts in a seconds. I'm not gonna do it anymore. But at the end i'm still doing the same thing just like i'm talking crap at here. Phewww.
There is sometimes i do feel that my mom now is not my biological mother just because she took my sister side. kekadang sejenak terfikir. " Am i was your step-daughter ?" , "aku ni anak picisan gamaknya" . " Mak tak sayang saya ". Sangat penuh dengan kebabian dan kebebalan.This is extreme ya know. It is just me. Cause im afraid to be such a loser even for once. Still, everytime i was a loser. Afraid to approach people, being egois and ect.
I am in a process, learning how to be a cool person than hot-tempered , saying sorry face to face if i do wrong ( Seriously, this is hard to do, HARDLY) , stop fight with my own sister. Keep silence when mom starting to talk. Mom, i want to be a good daughter so if i have mine i don't want her/him doing the same thing that i do to you. If she/he still do, i deserves that. What goes around, come around.
#haramjadah apa taip kemaen panjang macam karangan bahasa inggeris. Okbai peeps. And Oh, I really should create one nice header. MUST DO.
Suddenly, this emotional feelings spreading without uncontrolly when you get fight with your mom and your big sister because of small things. Small issue can turn up to be a big issues. I can feel that. Right now. This evil thinking mind try to manipulate and create this hatred feeling. Oh, i hate this . But, I am so relief that i can express all out what i feel inside. Try to turn on a sad song and you feel like crying. Dumb.
There is sometimes, i've been thinking that i'm always the black sheep. the bad one and nothing good come from me. Sigh. Maybe its true. I think mom love big sister than me. Cause she's the perfect one. Heard everything what mom saying while i'm always cut her words off everytime she try to give an advice to me. But hey, i won't defend myself if i'm wrong. But still mom says, You need to accept that you're wrong. That's why people tegur you to be better. Ok, my bad. but it will take time to confess your own fault. Yupp.
There is always this time that i feel lonely , alone , sepi, sunyi , keseorangan , rasa terpinggir , tersisih , lonely again , fell into the darkness like woooo..But dumb again. The cycle is never ends. It just me that always thinking negatively and start to crying without reason and laughing back, and you remembered something sad and you starting to crying again . Totally this is shit. I think i'm goin to be nuts in a seconds. I'm not gonna do it anymore. But at the end i'm still doing the same thing just like i'm talking crap at here. Phewww.
There is sometimes i do feel that my mom now is not my biological mother just because she took my sister side. kekadang sejenak terfikir. " Am i was your step-daughter ?" , "aku ni anak picisan gamaknya" . " Mak tak sayang saya ". Sangat penuh dengan kebabian dan kebebalan.This is extreme ya know. It is just me. Cause im afraid to be such a loser even for once. Still, everytime i was a loser. Afraid to approach people, being egois and ect.
I am in a process, learning how to be a cool person than hot-tempered , saying sorry face to face if i do wrong ( Seriously, this is hard to do, HARDLY) , stop fight with my own sister. Keep silence when mom starting to talk. Mom, i want to be a good daughter so if i have mine i don't want her/him doing the same thing that i do to you. If she/he still do, i deserves that. What goes around, come around.
#haramjadah apa taip kemaen panjang macam karangan bahasa inggeris. Okbai peeps. And Oh, I really should create one nice header. MUST DO.
Friday, June 3, 2011
This feeling so extreme.
Alangkah indahnya dunia.
bila kita semua tak menjadi dewasa.
main hanya melekat di kotak minda.
berimaginasi diluar kotak, terpengaruh dengan televisyen.
belajar ala kadar saja.
cita-cita menjadi wajib bila semua budak perlu minat pada sesuatu benda.
hobi yang sentiasa sama selang dua tiga budak kelas.
membaca.
lapkan segala comot pada baju putih sekolah,
balik rumah kena marah. dan esok masih buat lagi.
takut pada cikgu bahasa inggris. benci pada matematik. dulu.
main tindih pemadam bila cikgu tak masuk kelas.
buka meja promot benda tak berfaedah pada kawan.
hati sentiasa girang walaupun dimarahi.
memerlukan beberapa saat untuk melupuskan perkara yang baru terjadi.
senang ambil hati.
pujukan coklat dua poleh sen.
tak menangis bila luka dikaki.
tak wujud perasaan yang melibatkan orang lain kecuali mak dan ayah.
memori.
cari mesin masa, supaya sentiasa terperangkap dalam zaman kanak-kanak.
sebab hati takkan dilukai dan saling melukai.
perasaan cemburu takkan wujud. dunia aman.
Tapi, masa lampau.
itulah yang mengajar kita menjadi matang. kan?
pemikiran kritikal.
bila kita semua tak menjadi dewasa.
main hanya melekat di kotak minda.
berimaginasi diluar kotak, terpengaruh dengan televisyen.
belajar ala kadar saja.
cita-cita menjadi wajib bila semua budak perlu minat pada sesuatu benda.
hobi yang sentiasa sama selang dua tiga budak kelas.
membaca.
lapkan segala comot pada baju putih sekolah,
balik rumah kena marah. dan esok masih buat lagi.
takut pada cikgu bahasa inggris. benci pada matematik. dulu.
main tindih pemadam bila cikgu tak masuk kelas.
buka meja promot benda tak berfaedah pada kawan.
hati sentiasa girang walaupun dimarahi.
memerlukan beberapa saat untuk melupuskan perkara yang baru terjadi.
senang ambil hati.
pujukan coklat dua poleh sen.
tak menangis bila luka dikaki.
tak wujud perasaan yang melibatkan orang lain kecuali mak dan ayah.
memori.
cari mesin masa, supaya sentiasa terperangkap dalam zaman kanak-kanak.
sebab hati takkan dilukai dan saling melukai.
perasaan cemburu takkan wujud. dunia aman.
Tapi, masa lampau.
itulah yang mengajar kita menjadi matang. kan?
pemikiran kritikal.
Monday, May 30, 2011
love, love love.
you loved me once.
am screwed up.
im sure enuff that you would love me for twice.
am screwed up.
and also for the third time.
am still screwed up.
fourth.
am screwed up again.
fifth.
dumb, you're still gimme a big big chance.
but, am still screwed up.
sixth.
not changing.
still fuckin screwed you up.
seventh.
the same things happened . am screwed up more than one time.
eight times.
screw-ed up.
nine.
again and again. am always screwed you up!
why did you always gimme a ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten chance?
Ten times. please stop gave a chance and hurting yourself everytime they're screwed you up. or maybe you just a dumbass who are desperate for someone to loving you. its look terrible though. stop doing that! you were not meant to be together. just accept the truth. Weh, mens and girls are not only one in this world, but it is a zillion somebody who are waiting for yah. If she/he still fucking screwed up. Stop being a pathetic and a nice losers that you still can accept her/him. leave your ass off. don't ruin your life for one stupid mistake. haha. this is just an advice. am also not an expert in love stuff. Hell yeah, im sucked at it. or else.
1. hope when you find whoever it is you're looking for. And don't let go, once you do.
2. Tidak perlukan pengalaman untuk menasihati seseorang. sendiri boleh fikir.
3. hidup memang takkan pernah adil, cabaran dan dugaan adalah satu ujian yang Allah ingin berikan pada ciptaannya. how far can you handle it?
4. kau tak perlu susah nak terkejar mencari apa itu cinta, kerana satu hari nanti dia akan datang dengan sendiri bila dia bersedia. and its a natural feeling. else, kau patut kukuhkan kewangan kau dari bercinta.
5. This is just a random post. nothing-relate to somebody or whatever body. am just freaking free this days.
6. Newly months will come soon, hope this June gonna brought me luck. many many muchos luck. and June is a month that full of prosperous. i guess :)
7. Tabah. zip your mouth.
am screwed up.
im sure enuff that you would love me for twice.
am screwed up.
and also for the third time.
am still screwed up.
fourth.
am screwed up again.
fifth.
dumb, you're still gimme a big big chance.
but, am still screwed up.
sixth.
not changing.
still fuckin screwed you up.
seventh.
the same things happened . am screwed up more than one time.
eight times.
screw-ed up.
nine.
again and again. am always screwed you up!
why did you always gimme a ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten chance?
Ten times. please stop gave a chance and hurting yourself everytime they're screwed you up. or maybe you just a dumbass who are desperate for someone to loving you. its look terrible though. stop doing that! you were not meant to be together. just accept the truth. Weh, mens and girls are not only one in this world, but it is a zillion somebody who are waiting for yah. If she/he still fucking screwed up. Stop being a pathetic and a nice losers that you still can accept her/him. leave your ass off. don't ruin your life for one stupid mistake. haha. this is just an advice. am also not an expert in love stuff. Hell yeah, im sucked at it. or else.
1. hope when you find whoever it is you're looking for. And don't let go, once you do.
2. Tidak perlukan pengalaman untuk menasihati seseorang. sendiri boleh fikir.
3. hidup memang takkan pernah adil, cabaran dan dugaan adalah satu ujian yang Allah ingin berikan pada ciptaannya. how far can you handle it?
4. kau tak perlu susah nak terkejar mencari apa itu cinta, kerana satu hari nanti dia akan datang dengan sendiri bila dia bersedia. and its a natural feeling. else, kau patut kukuhkan kewangan kau dari bercinta.
5. This is just a random post. nothing-relate to somebody or whatever body. am just freaking free this days.
6. Newly months will come soon, hope this June gonna brought me luck. many many muchos luck. and June is a month that full of prosperous. i guess :)
7. Tabah. zip your mouth.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
percaya.
Qoute of the day:
mimpi seseorang tetapi tak ingat wajah beliau. kemungkinan dia jodoh kau.
kupu-kupu atau rama-rama masuk rumah, tandanya orang jauh nak datang.
mata terkedip-kedip disebelah kanan, akan melihat orang jauh tak lama lagi.
tergigit lidah, pasti kau akan bertengkar mulut dengan orang yang terdekat.
tersedak makanan pedas, ada orang yang sedang mengata kau.
tapak tangan gatal, agaknya nak dapat duit atau duit nak lesap.
bulu mata kanan jatuh, ada yang rindu kau.
bulu mata belah kiri pula jatuh, ada orang yang tak berapa nak suka dekat kau.
ketawa sepanjang hari tanpa henti, alamatnya nak menangis takpun itu penyakit mental.
kalau punggung kebas?
sebab duduk atas lantai lama sangat :D chill. have fun.
cakapcakap: kau percaya benda di atas? aku hanya menganggap ia adalah satu kebetulan yang berlaku tanpa disedari oleh otak dan kewarasan.
Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect.
mimpi seseorang tetapi tak ingat wajah beliau. kemungkinan dia jodoh kau.
kupu-kupu atau rama-rama masuk rumah, tandanya orang jauh nak datang.
mata terkedip-kedip disebelah kanan, akan melihat orang jauh tak lama lagi.
tergigit lidah, pasti kau akan bertengkar mulut dengan orang yang terdekat.
tersedak makanan pedas, ada orang yang sedang mengata kau.
tapak tangan gatal, agaknya nak dapat duit atau duit nak lesap.
bulu mata kanan jatuh, ada yang rindu kau.
bulu mata belah kiri pula jatuh, ada orang yang tak berapa nak suka dekat kau.
ketawa sepanjang hari tanpa henti, alamatnya nak menangis takpun itu penyakit mental.
kalau punggung kebas?
sebab duduk atas lantai lama sangat :D chill. have fun.
cakapcakap: kau percaya benda di atas? aku hanya menganggap ia adalah satu kebetulan yang berlaku tanpa disedari oleh otak dan kewarasan.
Friday, May 27, 2011
catatan.
aku dan kau.
seorang kawan.
pasti wujud perasaan rindu.
tak rindu. tak mengapa. tapi kau selit aku dalam kotak memori kan?
kau tahu kan?
tapi aku malu. malu kerbau.
hanya mampu berkata dalam hati.
hakikatnya, egois.
simpan sampai reput dan luput.
kawan, hanya satu yang aku masih harap.
jangan, pernah lupakan aku.
bolehkan?
seorang kawan.
pasti wujud perasaan rindu.
tak rindu. tak mengapa. tapi kau selit aku dalam kotak memori kan?
kau tahu kan?
tapi aku malu. malu kerbau.
hanya mampu berkata dalam hati.
hakikatnya, egois.
simpan sampai reput dan luput.
kawan, hanya satu yang aku masih harap.
jangan, pernah lupakan aku.
bolehkan?
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Choices.
Every minutes in life is precious.
i did wasting my time, end up without getting anything back then. Once you go, you can't turn back. hell yeah. The cycles never end. do regret in your whole life if you had miss everything awesome that should be happened because you're busy-ing being a useless person. you are the one that controlled your own life. lead em to the light, not into the freaking darkness road. there is choices. choose your own path carefully and be strong to faced it. I do believe that God always there for me and always be im my doa'.
Peeps, if you're not succes in your life now, so what?! STFU. you should fixed up and struggle hard to make your life better. be better day by day. not by pretending be such a perfect bimbo and everything must've been perfect. Just be yourself, yeahhh the original and pure one. Imperfections makes you normal and that is trully a natural beauty that you should proud of. decisions is in your hand. follow the flow. same goes to me..you have your own fate, and i got my own too.. and what? you fucked up your own life, and don't put a blame on someone else..Learn from mistakes. people make mistakes. its a common thing that people do for everyday, hours, minutes, and every seconds.
Hating your life doesn't lead you to success. Hating someone's life also does not make you succes. you just end up being a pathetic. live a good life without hating anyone because jealousy is the ugliest trait. Standing proud and says : I'm try my very best, be the best among the best and the rest of it is in God's hand. Always Pray.
cakapcakap : Well, i'm just impressed with the big effort to make this video. kinda busy lately,Have a great day :) till next post.
i did wasting my time, end up without getting anything back then. Once you go, you can't turn back. hell yeah. The cycles never end. do regret in your whole life if you had miss everything awesome that should be happened because you're busy-ing being a useless person. you are the one that controlled your own life. lead em to the light, not into the freaking darkness road. there is choices. choose your own path carefully and be strong to faced it. I do believe that God always there for me and always be im my doa'.
choices. make a right choice.
Peeps, if you're not succes in your life now, so what?! STFU. you should fixed up and struggle hard to make your life better. be better day by day. not by pretending be such a perfect bimbo and everything must've been perfect. Just be yourself, yeahhh the original and pure one. Imperfections makes you normal and that is trully a natural beauty that you should proud of. decisions is in your hand. follow the flow. same goes to me..you have your own fate, and i got my own too.. and what? you fucked up your own life, and don't put a blame on someone else..Learn from mistakes. people make mistakes. its a common thing that people do for everyday, hours, minutes, and every seconds.
cakapcakap : Well, i'm just impressed with the big effort to make this video. kinda busy lately,Have a great day :) till next post.
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