Saturday evening.

5.29 pm


Still lying on the floor and waiting for berbuka.
Simple as that, today mom decide to eat something delicious yet easy to cook. Our recipe,

" Chicken wings marinated with nasi ayam".

Not going to any bazar ramadhan to buy side foods cause we already shop groceries at Giant for 3 hours.Yeah 3 hours.

What can i say this year fasting month it's not like the old days anymore. Since it's not the end of the year. I don't feel any exciting anymore. Totally like another plain boring day except everyone got a one day leave to celebrate first puasa with their families. That's all. 


I'm still new in penang. I miss everything. My hometown, The surrounding. the people. the smells. Every little piece of me is still left there. This busy city makes me sick, their attitude on the road. Geez my mouth can't stop swearing every single time. Trying to cool down and i just remember today is puasa. Hihi.


I hope i can get through until the end of the month. I'm planning to quit my job. Pretty tired with the situation. How can i work when my heart and soul not even there anymore. It's like a puppet doing a show by itself. So i already apply a new one and hoping this one would be my rezqi.

If it ever to happen, it will happen cause it's all in Allah hands.

So, Happy Ramadhan to all muslims. people that i known and i used to know. Forgive my harsh words cause i never mean it. I'm a normal people that cannot run from doing any mistakes.

Less talk, start to do more good deeds.


6.42 pm.

tik tok.

Aku berdoa,
Tuhan dengar permintaanku, lantas ia berikan.
tapi disebalik itu,
dia uji aku.
aku harus hadapi dengan tabah.
Jadi kuat, dan jangan pernah putus asa.
kalau ini bukan rezeki aku,
mungkin tuhan sediakan yang lebih baik untuk aku.
Ya, teruskan dengan fikiran positif kau.
Ia pasti akan baik-baik aja.
cuba senyum.
redha.
tawakal.
sedikit usaha.
dan beberapa cebis harapan.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
cuba sedapkan hati.
.
.
.
.
.
tapi gagal.

aku

Gua. Nak menaip perlu datang mood. macam diminta seru.
 I guess i'm not just like anybody who can type for five minutes and click the publish post button. Done.


sedar tak sedar, dah masuk bulan tiga.
aku sentiasa aku yang lama dan mungkinlah berubah sedikit.


aku pernah cakap, kepada seseorang.
even aku tak menulis dalam blog ini pun, bukan bermakna aku lupa.
aku masih boleh ingat segala kejadian walaupun untuk 10 tahun lepas.
mungkin ada lupa sikit, tapi sebahagian besarnya masih segar.


I don't need words on screen, cause i'm always keep in mind like a record, put in a memory box so its stays there safely for forever.


The difference between us. Its good. kalau sentiasa sama sahaja tiadalah ceria dalam hidup. lama-kelamaan mesti mati kebosanan juga kerna tiada kelainan. sama macam hari-hari makan benda yang sama muak juga akhirnya.


Aku mungkin dah tak sunyi lagi.
sunyi dalam kosa kata aku ni bukannya untuk forever alone. sebab aku ada mak, masih ada tempat untuk bertahan. dia yang terbaik pernah aku alami dalam hidup ini. Definisi sunyi disini ialah bilamana kawan untuk berbual hal semasa. dengan mak aku berbual hal peribadi. kiranya kawan-kawan mainkan peranan penting jugak dalam hidup. tapi bukanlah bila tiada kawan, aku mati. a big No.


Terharu,
masih ada yang sanggup menanti.
masih ada yang mencari.
masih bertambah orang baru dalam hidup.
masih ada yang kata rindu.
aku bersyukur masih ada orang yang sentiasa ingat pada aku.
Terima kasih. aku hargai.

aku boleh balas semuanya. cuma aku jenis slow motion. macam dalam sains juga,
hipotesisnya, semakin slow motion pergerakan itu, semakin awesomelah hasilnya.
tunggulah selagi engkau mampu,
menunggu itu mungkin perit,
tapi mana tahu ia membuahkan hasil yang lumayan suatu hari nanti.

Expectations

When The Smiths songs keep playing in 500 days of Summer it lighten up my life.






Life is full with surprises.

Engkau tak jangka apa yang akan jadi harini dan bagaimana pula esok. aku cuma harap hari yang mendatang dalam hidup aku hanya penuh dengan kebahgiaan. Malah, aku nak mula ketepikan rasa kesunyian yang selama ini dah terperangkap dalam diri. Aku dah bosan.

Tapi aku masih buntu.

dan masih mencari.

Aku hanya nak senyum selepas ini walaupun aku rasa terluka atau pahit kelak. aku cuma takkan berhenti senyum. aku dah biasa tempuh pahit dalam hidup. ala takat fake smile is my thing. its so me. kau boleh cakap aku hipokrit, i don't care. sebab sometimes i am.

cuma beza nya bila orang buat kita tersengih depan laptop dengan baca every word yang dorang tulis,

engkau tahu orang itu berbeza dan telah gembirakan kau dalam cara halus.


The thing is,
Aku cuma nak elakkan jadi macam Summer, but at the end i'm still have the same thoughts just like Summer. Bukan dari sekarang, tapi dari dulu lagi. Aku cuma rasa it won't work. Maybe that's why every relationship i never take it serious. because i never really worked for it.


I  don't fall easily- zee 

The best way to love something is to realize you may lose it.- I never done this.



Until one day. one RT from twitter is changing my life. Dari pergaduhan ( more to bahan membahan ) it turn out to be you know what i mean.



kenal baru semalam, tapi gaduh macam dah kenal 3 tahun.



After five days i back from Kolumpo. I got this. I just wanna tell you i do expect that you gonna say that. and i do thinking about you for five days that we don't contact each other. But i never thought this kind of situation.


Pagi itu,
Log in twitter,


checking inbox : Guess what?! I'm glad you back, I miss you.

I knew it sound serious when the words its not contain ha-ha.

Hey baby !

I'm gonna change this whole blog.

And can one of you that ever read my blog tell me how to change the blogspot to wordpress?

Do i need to make a new one?

Do i ? do i ?

And as you can see the header is already crooks.

Shit i've been strugling to create the friggin damn header using paint. Hehe. Yeah i know its lame. I don't even know how to used photoshop. Actually, i am too lazy to check all over the web that teach every tutorial. Its too complicated.


Its like i better jump from the top of building instead of using stairs to going down.


I missed blogging. I just ran out of idea.


I'll be going to kolumpo for 6 days. and i will updating more even i know no ones ever care.


And i love all my readers ( Like i have one )


Okbai. xoxo :D